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Green & Quarantined


Plant Jokes to Get You Through the Quarantine

  •  In my day we used to cough to cover up a fart, now we fart to cover up a cough.

  • My personal gardening skills have increased with Covid-19, I planted myself on the couch and have grown significantly ever since.

  • Nail salons, hair salons, tanning salons and barbers have all closed due to Corona 19. It’s going to get ugly out there. Grow some beauty! Click here to shop our plant menu!

  • My husband bought world-wide map and some darts and said, Throw this, and wherever it lands, that’s where I’ll take you when this quarantine ends. As it turns out, we’re spending 2 weeks behind the frig.

  • You know what they say, feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a Corona.

  • When we ran out of toilet paper, we started using lettuce leaves. Today was the tip of the Iceberg but tomorrow Romaine's to be seen.

  • If someone is too afraid to plant an apple tree they need to grow a pear.

  • I never thought the saying, "I wouldn't touch them with a 10 ft pole!" would become national policy, but here we are.

  • Since we're all in quarantine I guess we'll be making inside jokes from now on.

  • If you don't quite get a joke, wait 2 weeks and see if you get it.

  • Day 121 of the quarantine at home and my dog is looking at me like, "See! That's why I chew the furniture!"

  • You can't plant a flower if you haven’t botany!

  • There was panic buying in Germany of sausage and cheese. It was the wurst-kase scenario.

  • Finland just closed their border. So for now, no one will pass the finish line.

  • Plant make good friends, they photo-sympathize!

  • When plants go out to eat they get a “Light” meal.

  • I like to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. My neighbor asked, How do you find the time? I say, It’s right next to the Sage.

  • After years of wanting time to clean my house but never finding the time, since quarantine I've discovered that's not the reason.

  • If I keep stress eating like this, my shirt buttons will start social distancing from each other.

  • Don’t drop that box of cabbage, heads will roll.

  • When I ran out of dish soap and then body wash and I down to dish detergent then it Dawned on me.

  • Two Vegans had an argument; it was a plant-based beef.

  • I started a company harvesting moisture from plants. It hasn’t been great, but we’re making dew.

  • The seedlings were racing and the tomato was behind, be we knew it would ketchup.

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